When I was a teenager, the word, “No” was the worst thing I could hear coming from my mother’s mouth.  Mainly, since I wanted a “Yes,” to the questions - “Can I go to . . . ?” or “Can I have . . .?” I truly believed my mother did not want me to have any fun. Children tend to think their parents are “old” and do not understand what it’s like to be young. Back then, I did not understand that her decisions were meant to protect me. Similarly, our Heavenly Father does things to protect His children. When He says, “Yes, you can have that job” or “Yes, you can buy that house”, we feel “blessed” and celebrate! 

But what do we do with His “NO’s?”  Recently, I heard, “NO, you can’t have it” loud and clear. I acted like a teenager stomping my foot asking, “Why can’t I have it?”  Regretfully, I found myself frustrated and jealous. Especially, seeing how others had what I wanted. As a Bible embracing Christian adult, my mind could not grasp the “Why” behind His “No.” Thankfully, I have resolved that even if I do not know the “Why”, I can remain grounded in my faith because I do know the WHO!

To illustrate this point, when we pray, we know there are three possible answers: “Yes, No, or Not Yet.” I want to break down these answers and offer a base for understanding them. 

First, it is obvious we all love the music-to-our-ears-“Yes!”  We celebrate the “Yes” of a wedding; a baby being born; getting that dream job; purchasing our first home; and having the best tropical vacation ever.  We all like it when life is full of “Yeses.”

Next, I am going to skip the “No” and talk about the “Not yet” because this one is somewhat easier to handle.  We may not like to wait, but if we think we are going to get the “prize” then we can tolerate the delay.  Even years of waiting can seem quick in hindsight.  For example, when my husband and I were purchasing our first home, we looked at what felt like a million homes.  It took a year to find a home that was in our price range; in the area we wanted to live; and one that was not falling apart!  It felt like we were never going to find it.  As we prayed, God kept saying, “Not yet”.  Once we purchased our home, the long wait did not seem to matter. We lived and raised our four sons in that home for over 17 years. Even though a “Not yet” can feel like a “No”, we must remember that God’s timing is not ours and His “Not Yet” could last years and years (Just ask Anna, in Luke 2:36-38, how long she waited to see the coming Messiah).

Lastly, let me explain the “No’s”.  This is by far the toughest answer to handle. Specifically, when we do not know the reason “Why?" The “No” and a “Why” are symbiotic. Our human emotions are just like a teenager who cannot go to the party. We are hurt, angry, baffled, and defiant.  We sometimes try and sneak around the “No” and take matters into our own hands.  Sarah in the Bible did just that.  She heard God tell Abraham, “Your wife Sarah will become pregnant”.  She was quite old and conceiving a child at her age was considered impossible.  After waiting and waiting for 10 years, Sarah took matters in her own hands and arranged for Abraham to have a son with Hagar, their servant.  (Genesis 12-16). This was disastrous and caused friction when Sarah finally conceived her son, Isaac.

In my own life, I prayed for the same thing for over 3.5 years, I thought I heard, “Not yet”.  Unfortunately, the “Not Yet” turned into a solid, “No”.  I was devastated because I truly believed the “Not Yet” would eventually turn into a “Yes!!!"  I was wrong.

There is always a spiritual lesson to process after a big event.  What is it?  I do not know. Nevertheless, I do know that one way to process God’s “NOs” is to focus on the Who!  Go to His word. The Bible is alive with His characteristics of love, patience, kindness, grace, mercy, protection, strength, justice, and righteousness.

Will I one day see the “Why?”  Maybe or Maybe not. However, I know I must choose to be OK with not knowing.  And like my mom who said, “No” to protect me (I did not see that until years later when I had my own children), God said, “No” for a reason.  In Jeremiah, God said, “For I know the plans I have for you . . . plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11).  His Len’s is eternal and my lens is now.  Recognizing we live in a fallen world where bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people basically means we can faithfully trust Him to make things right in eternity.