A few blogs ago, I wrote, “Infected or Influenced Series: Rumors, and Gossip, and Meddling, -OH MY!” about the dangers of believing everything you hear, spreading what you hear, and getting involved in matters that were none of your business. It focused on how these three things are hurtful and destructive. This time, I want to elaborate a little more on gossip because this one is hardest to avoid.   To illustrate, while in the work lunchroom, a coworker starts a sentence with: “Did you hear about. . . ? Or Can you believe. . . ?”  Gossip is talking (or listening) about someone else’s private information that can be true or false.

In the past, I admit, I liked gossip and did not think it was a big deal.  My favorite shows were soap operas which thrived on gossip! Even now, I recognize that it is very easy to be drawn towards this type of “talking”.  I wanted to be included, and I was naturally curious. Thus, I tried to find loopholes around it and established a few erroneous concepts that I perceived would keep me from going down the “gossip” rabbit hole.

First, I believed as long as it was a completely true story, and I was not spreading lies or false facts, then it was fine. If it was true, then it was more like “Headline” news and not gossip.

Next, if I did not care if the person who I was talking about walked into the room; then, I could tell the story.  I was not whispering, looking over my shoulder, or trying to hide. Moreover, I even reasoned if the person found out that I shared the story, I did not have a problem with admitting it.

Finally, I used the same argument that my sons used on me when I told them they could not watch a particular movie, play a violent video game, or listen to a certain kind of music: “But, everyone does it!”

Over time, the Holy Spirit revealed to me how I was not being compassionate, loving, or edifying. It was NOT acceptable in His eyes and there are no excuses. To explain, gossip is listed in the same Biblical verse as wickedness, maliciousness, murder, deceit, and evil-mindedness (Romans 1:29). With God, all sin separates us from Him, thus, gossip is equally destructive as those other sins. “Ouch”! I had not realized.  

People, including myself, try to excuse or put manmade levels on what we think are acceptable sins. For example, it is easy to believe murder is wrong; yet we overlook gluttony, drunkenness, coveting, and gossip as minor infractions.

Now that we know how God sees gossip, how do we practically STOP?

Here are three ways:

1.      If you are not directly involved in the story, then you do not need to hear about it. If you can, excuse yourself, quickly change the subject, or ask the person a question that pertains to them (most people like to talk about themselves too 😉). The main goal is to not engage or contribute to the conversation.

2.      If you are truly concerned and want others to pray for someone else’s situation, ask for prayer for “a friend who is going through a difficult time”.  Tell them God knows the details.  If you are the one being told the story, quickly say, “I will pray for him”.

3.      When you are tempted to gossip, redirect your thoughts-flip it in your mind and verbally edify the person with a positive comment.

Always start by praying for God’s help first and remember, instead of repeating Gossip-just think this, “GOD SAYS ZIP”   

Scripture: "They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips!". Romans 1:29